Dealing with The Bully In Your Life

Bully-free-zone

I found this interesting on a Google search.

 “Bully Wasn’t Always Negative

The earliest meaning of English bully was “sweetheart.” The word was probably borrowed from Dutch boel, “lover.” Later bully was used for anyone who seemed a good fellow, then for a blustering daredevil. Today, a bully is usually one whose claims to strength and courage are based on the intimidation of those who are weaker.” ~Merriam Webster Online Dictionary

My how things have changed!

I wanted to share a personal story.  When our daughters were in school, there was some bullying going on, but nothing like we see today.  First of all, they didn’t have cell phones or computers which was a blessing from what we are seeing today.  Our oldest daughter seemed to get hit with it mostly.  It came in the form of “looking too preppy” so a girl smacked her on the bus.  Jenn came home with a hand print across her face.  My husband and I showed up at the school the next day to address the situation with the sixth-grade principal.

We saw a young girl sitting outside the principal’s office, but didn’t have a clue as to who she was.  As we shared what happened to our daughter, the principal quietly told us the girl who hit Jenn was sitting outside his office.  She wasn’t there for hitting Jenn, but because she had broken some other rules.  He assured us that he would deal with her quickly.  The “bully” seemed to leave Jenn alone after that.

I prayed and asked the Lord to somehow allow me to talk to this girl’s mother.  Little did I realize how He would set up this divine appointment a few weeks later.

We took the daily paper and I noticed we had a new delivery person.  One day a lady came to our front door to collect for the paper and the Lord spoke into my heart and said, “This is Tony’s mother.”  As I am giving the lady the check for the paper, I asked her if she was Tony’s mother.  She was surprised that I was asking and she told me that she was not her biological mother but her step-mother.  I am thinking, “How did I know this apart from You God?”

I asked her if the principal had called her to tell her what happened to our daughter. She had no idea of the situation and was really embarrassed.   Tony’s step-mother started sharing the sad life that this girl had lived and how after her mother had died of cancer, she went to live with her father and his new family.  There was a lot of anger and rebellion. Life in their household was very stressed.  We sat down in our living room and I listened to this precious woman share her heart and how she loved Tony and wanted to see her wounded soul healed.  I prayed with her and encouraged her to find a good church where the whole family could be healed and grow in Christ.

Fast forward to the next summer and the church we attended was doing a Backyard Bible Club.  I kept seeing a young girl with some younger children come to the porch of their home across the street the first few days.  By the third day Jenn asks me if she can invite the girl and her siblings.  That girl was Tony.  I was so proud of our daughter. She was willing to forgive and put the past behind her.  Tony and her siblings came to the Backyard Bible Club that week.  Tony came to the Lord and she shared how her family started going to a church after her “Mother” met with me.  They were all in pastoral counseling and she realized how much her father and new Mother loved and cared for her.

The girl physically had changed.  The hardness was gone and there was a sweetness and glow on her sweet face.

But I want to go back to, “Dealing with the Bully In Your Life.”

I like to do it God’s way rather than the way of the world.  That means taking it to The Father and crying out to Him for guidance and His solution.

But our hearts had to be right and Jenn needed to be able to forgive…all of us did.

Little did we know that He was setting up a divine appointment to help get Tony’s family in a place where they would cry out to Him also.

When we walk in love and forgiveness, we literally give God the freedom to bring solutions in such a way that we see the miracle of healing in relationships in so many ways.

We had another time when we moved to another town and Jenn was in high school.  She came home very upset and said that a male teacher was bullying her. After it happened a second time we were ready to go to the school.  But we prayed and Jenn went to school and talked to her counselor.  The counselor pulled the teacher in and he apologized to Jenn.  We never had to go to the school.  Again, God took care of it when we prayed.

Do we allow the physical abuse of bullies?  Never!  In our case when Jenn was slapped, we reported it to the school and God even allowed the parent to come to our front door so I could share what happened.  We didn’t have to go to the authorities, but if it would have continued, we would have done so in a heartbeat.

Parents, grandparents and guardians, please listen to your children.  They are special treasures that need to be protected.  Check their phones and their social media.  Be their advocate at all times.  If you don’t protect them, who will?  Pray for your children and those who bully.  The scripture tells us to pray for those who persecute us (your kids) and to love your enemies (your kids’ enemies).   There is more going on in the unseen that God wants to expose and heal.  Be a catalyst for healing.

1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)
8  Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

The above scripture tells us that the adversary, the enemy of our soul, wants to destroy us.  He wants to destroy our families and all that God calls good.  This scripture also calls us to be vigilant and watchful.  I for one will not allow the enemy to devour my family.  You can depend on the fact that I am standing vigilant for their sake through prayers of intercession.  The scripture also tells us that we are not dealing with flesh and blood.

Ephesians 6:10-12 (ESV)
10  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Our battles are won on our knees!

I close with this blessing!  I encourage you to pray it over your children every morning.  If God is for them, who can stand against them!

Numbers 6:24-26 (AMP)

24  The Lord bless you and watch, guard, and keep you; 25  The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious (kind, merciful, and giving favor) to you; 26  The Lord lift up His [approving] countenance upon you and give you peace (tranquility of heart and life continually).

What are you thinking?

In 1999 I felt the Lord calling me to counseling.  I had years of training in the church and also had gone through chaplaincy training for prison ministry.  I had been a counselor at different churches we had gone to through the years of all our moving around.

So, I prayed and told the Lord if He wanted me to counsel, He needed to show me how and where to get my accreditation.  I knew He didn’t want me going for worldly training.  God is so faithful.  He led me to a faith-based counseling group called The Therapon Institute which was started by Dr. Paul Carlin in Crockett, Texas at that time.  By this time, we were living in California, so I was flying back to Texas for classes and then doing what I could by distance learning.

In November 2001, I received my License as a Belief Therapist and was ordained into the ministry at that time.  I am required to take continuing education classes through Therapon.

The word “therapon” has a beautiful meaning.  It actually means to minister or serve to relieve the diseased spirit, soul and body.

Greek Strong’s Number: 2323

Greek Word: θεραπεύω

Transliteration: therapeuō

Phonetic Pronunciation:ther-ap-yoo’-o

Root: from the same as <G2324>

Cross Reference: TDNT – 3:128,331

Part of Speech: v

Vine’s Words: Cure, Heal, Healing

Usage Notes:

English Words used in KJV:

heal 38
cure 5
worship 1
[Total Count: 44]

from the same as <G2324> (therapon); to wait upon menially, i.e. (figurative) to adore (God), or (special) to relieve (of disease) :- cure, heal, worship.

Strong’s Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary.

What I learned through The Therapon Institute would help bring healing spirit, soul and body through prayer, discipleship and biblical counseling.  You can find Therapon at this website:  http://www.cfchurch.net/Therapon/Home.html.

Email:  therapon.institute@gmail.com

By Phone:  888-320-2249 or 504-328-2249

By Mail:  5049 Ehret Rd., Marrero LA  70072

By Fax:  504-328-1817

Most of our pain in life comes from truth-based pain and lie-based pain.  Truth-based pain can only be healed by accepting God’s grace and facing the truth.  That is when the power of the Holy Spirit comes in and brings healing.  Lie-based pain is a bit more complicated and it takes time getting to the root lies that we have believed about ourselves, others or maybe even God.  But when we do, there is healing and deliverance.  The weight of oppression is forever lifted and we see the world through a different pair of eyes.

I googled the meaning of “therapist” and found this.

ther·a·pist

ˈTHerəpəst/

noun

noun: therapist; plural noun: therapists

  1. a person skilled in a particular kind of therapy.

“a certified massage therapist”

synonyms: psychologist, psychotherapist, analyst, counselor, psychoanalyst, psychiatrist;

informalshrink

“events he would speak of only to his therapist”

  • a psychoanalyst, psychologist, etc., who treats psychological problems; a psychotherapist.

“cost is one factor keeping them from the therapist ‘s couch”

 

Therapy

ther·a·py

ˈTHerəpē/

noun

  1. treatment intended to relieve or heal a disorder.

“a course of antibiotic therapy”

synonyms: treatment, remedy, cure

“a wide range of complementary therapies”

  • the treatment of mental or psychological disorders by psychological means.

“he is currently in therapy

synonyms: psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, analysis, counseling

“he’s currently in therapy”

It’s interesting that when I google these terms it only goes for the soul and the body.  There is no spirit remedy apart from God when we get real about our broken world around us.  Our broken world is only a manifestation of what is going on in our spirit man.

Hence, the title “Belief Therapist.”  A Belief Therapist works with a person’s belief system and helps in bringing healing spirit, soul and body.

I attended a wonderful training in Texas by Pastor Henry Wright from Pleasant Valley Church in Thomaston, Georgia.  His ministry is called “Be in Health.”  He has an amazing training via the internet and on-site training.  Pastor Wright has had years of experience in seeing people get healed emotionally and physically when they dealt with the spiritual issues in their lives.  In his book “A More Excellent Way” on page 24, Pastor Wright says “About 80% of all diseases of mankind have a spiritual root with various psychological and biological manifestations.  I am not a doctor. I am not a psychologist.  I do not mix psychology with ministry.  I am a servant of the Father and Lord Jesus Christ.  No man has taught me, but He has taught me.”  He shares this same information in his trainings.

I agree.  In fact, one of my primary care doctors (who was not a believer) told me that with all the cancer in my family, it showed him that there was a lot of anger.  Interesting!  Many (actually most) of the people I have worked with find emotional and physical healing when we get to the spiritual root cause and deal with it.  The gifts of the Holy Spirit manifest during this time which is glorious and powerful.

What I love about being a Belief Therapist is seeing people love God enough to trust and believe Him to walk out their faith and obedience.  They become a force to be reckoned with and the kingdom of darkness cannot hit them in that spot any longer.

Another training that has brought much freedom to people I have ministered to is Transformational Prayer (previously called Theophostic Prayer Ministry).  It is a powerful way to get to the root of a person’s belief system and help them find freedom and peace.  When trained in this type of ministry, I had to have so man hours of  prayer for myself personally which was amazing.  We can’t pray for others when we are getting our own buttons pushed/triggered.  I continue to use this type of prayer today for myself.

We are spirit, soul and body according to God’s word.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (NKJV)
23  Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24  He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.

Worldly counseling cannot heal the spirit man.  Only the Holy Spirit  can do that.

As a Belief Therapist, my main motto (scripture) is this… Proverbs 23:7a (NKJV)
7  For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

What you believe in your heart is how you will respond to life…good and bad and it will be the filter you see everything through.

I will post different ministry training websites for your own study and edification that I have personally attended or gone through.  If you live in the area and need some help, send me an email and we can set up an appointment.   And yes…my husband and I do marriage counseling…God’s way.  We have been married 44 years so we have a track record.

Confidentiality is a must in this ministry.  There are two things I cannot keep confidential.

  1. If a child has been sexually assaulted.
  2. If a crime has been committed.

All else is between us and God.

I leave you with this blessing.

Numbers 6:24-26 (AMP)

24  The Lord bless you and watch, guard, and keep you; 25  The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious (kind, merciful, and giving favor) to you; 26  The Lord lift up His [approving] countenance upon you and give you peace (tranquility of heart and life continually).